Wedding season is a reminder that there are all kinds of transitions in life, some we may control and others we’re just along for the ride. Watching couples pair up and blend their lives and families is fun to watch. It can mean moving two independent living situations into one homogenous space. It can mean a cross country move for the same reason. Opportunities present themselves in careers and education relocation and in cohabitation. It can mean that as much as she loves him, she just does not love his giant taxidermy buffalo head. He loves her but he’s not ready to give up that taxidermy. So we find ourselves not just with two sets of silverware and bowls and plates but couches and linens and decorative items. Some we’ll just as easily toss or hand over to the next proud owner but others we struggle to let go of and decide it’s best to place in a storage facility for the immediate future while we work out a plan.
DO Communicate. If something is important to you, let them know! There is no crystal ball you’re gifted when you’ve decided to move in together to let you know what the best version of your blended lives will be. So speak up and speak often. But maybe not quite that often. Shhh, really, I’m trying to take a nap.
DO be kind. Kindness goes a long way in life. This isn’t a big transition just for you, it’s a big transition for your significant other as well. Are you hangry? Eat a sandwich, take a break, take a deep breath. Be kind.
DO make sure you have enough moving supplies on hand for both people. Just because you and your significant other are moving into a one-bedroom apartment doesn’t necessarily mean the smallest moving kit will be the best fit for you. Remember each person is bringing potentially an entire house or apartment full of things, even if the things need to be weeded out. That means there are two kitchens, two couches, two linen closets. If you’re nervous about this, size up your moving box kit so there isn’t anybody feeling left out.
Make sure the space you will be moving into is large enough for both of you. While you might imagine you can share a one bedroom apartment, maybe that is not the best fit for you. Especially if you both come into the situation with a lot of hobbies. Guitars are best not to be tripped over and while it’s good to purge those unnecessary things from your life, you shouldn’t necessarily let go of things you weren’t ready to do so with.
Pick your battles. You’re not just sharing a living space but sharing your lives together. Deciding which set of flatware to keep shouldn’t be a battle.
There’s a lot more to consider after the move-in. There’s routine and finances and remembering to still date each other. That’s a lot to think about so take it one step at a time and get through this move first. And really, please eat a sandwich if you’re feeling hangry. No need to fight something when you’re not rational.
Image source: The Oatmeal